The real narrative was of five years of deliberate crushing of our individuality, the suppression of emotional freedom.

<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-sWVfcNOU1yyNAYDdFckZSWgUolnDpeLH2AIJ_tq_hclJ5X6SxO5KulsR5nZLLP0NdAVv8bsrgPdAqkJ4dcmumGZ32fXoIuWxOpQI9PlLMQ04BokJi_5funoZYf-9rw6MaILKHXokwQt2/s1600/durham-school-kerr-memorial-and-school-chapel-1929_82408.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-sWVfcNOU1yyNAYDdFckZSWgUolnDpeLH2AIJ_tq_hclJ5X6SxO5KulsR5nZLLP0NdAVv8bsrgPdAqkJ4dcmumGZ32fXoIuWxOpQI9PlLMQ04BokJi_5funoZYf-9rw6MaILKHXokwQt2/s320/durham-school-kerr-memorial-and-school-chapel-1929_82408.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">I found this article and identified.</span><br /> <blockquote class="tr_bq"> <span class="s1"><i>sexual abuses were, in my version of the story, just detail: the real narrative was of five years of deliberate crushing of our individuality, the suppression of emotional freedom. Sexual bullying seemed just a part of the violence and cruelty that was the basic currency of the school and hundreds like it; the tools with which it squashed our little forms into the mould. Out of it would come upper-class Englishmen and women – ready to go and run an Empire or, at least, take charge of lesser mortals with normal feelings.</i></span></blockquote> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The Mail's story quoted from an email that the former Ashdown pupils were passing around: "The abuse that occurred continues to have a dramatic effect on a number of lives, with regards to ongoing relationships, career and treatment for dealing with the psychological damage it has caused. Therefore we are seeking compensation with regards to a civil case against the school."<br /><br />I was very shocked when I read this – more than I could easily understand. Ashdown had had a dramatic effect on my life, too, but I had thought it was done. I didn't feel any need for revenge or compensation for what had happened 40 years ago. I didn't think I needed catharsis, either – I had long ago let light onto what I experienced at Ashdown. I was open about it with lovers, friends and family. I was, as much as I could hope to be, at peace.<br /><br />But I realised I owed support to others who might need revenge, relief from the history – or money. There was another pressing need. The abusers had all been young men, if my memory could be trusted. They could still be teaching. Why hadn't I acted on Mr X years ago? I could not explain that.<br /><br />The first thing I did, though, was to email the Daily Mail story to my parents. This was not revenge. That my career at Ashdown was a mistake that they deeply regretted was something we had established a long time ago. If there was anything to forgive, I had forgiven it. I know they loved me. They were victims of a terrible fraud.<br /><br />Besides, the sexual abuses were, in my version of the story, just detail: the real narrative was of five years of deliberate crushing of our individuality, the suppression of emotional freedom. Sexual bullying seemed just a part of the violence and cruelty that was the basic currency of the school and hundreds like it; the tools with which it squashed our little forms into the mould. Out of it would come upper-class Englishmen and women – ready to go and run an Empire or, at least, take charge of lesser mortals with normal feelings.<br /><br />So went my thinking. Nothing unfamiliar: it has been said by British liberals from George Orwell onwards. Psychiatrists I have spoken to agree that, yes, while sexual and physical abuse is the headline grabber (and what makes criminal cases), real damage is done to children and adults by long-term psychological abuse. A child may recover from a blow, but not from the withdrawal of love and the denial of safety – the "complex trauma" child psychologists talk of. Comfy with my understanding, I was someone who had dealt with his schooldays.</span><br /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span> The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. #childwithin#10stages

The real narrative was of five years of deliberate crushing of our individuality, the suppression of emotional freedom.

I found this article and identified. sexual abuses were, in my version of the story, just detail: the real narrative was of five yea...

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