Children Within Us self rule for the abandoned child and what is missing in our lives and the lives of others. This is not an idealisation or a wish list but some of the needs that are missing from our lives that we need to come to an understanding of, and where if any the illusion of shame and blame that we carry into adulthood lie.
Since the message growing up was that it was up to me to make sure everyone was happy and that if they were not then somehow it was my fault, I genuinely believed it was. Therefore when people were unhappy, I looked for what I may have done to cause it, or I looked for what I could do to ‘fix it’. Today I am responsible for my own happiness and I don’t take responsibility for the moods of others. Darlene Ouimet
What we need:
We really need a child within us who loves us fully.
We need a child within who understand us fully.
We need a child within who can adequately translate the needs behind our cries…and our coughs…and our silences.
We need our child within who is now open to learn all they can learn from us, and we need to learn all this from our relationship with our re-birthed child within
WHAT WE NEEDED:
We needed parents who recognise that once they’ve brought us into the world they must devote their lives to us, body and soul. We needed parents who realise that all their purposes in existing must be performed in light of how it can help us grow, help us mature, and help us thrive.
We needed parents who have spent years in preparation for our creation – years before the sperm and the egg that created me ever met. We needed parents who devoted their lives to the betterment of themselves in mind, body, and spirit. We needed parents who entered the deepest and darkest depths of themselves and resolved the most painful traumas of their own past. We needed parents who no longer live awash in the wounds foisted on them by their own parents. We need parents who have become fully enlightened and no longer store hidden parts of their ravaged selves in their unconscious.
We needed parents who no longer wish for their own parents to rescue them, and secretly expect me, their future offspring, to pick up the torch where their own parents left off. We needed parents who can instead devote the whole summation of their beings toward the betterment of us.
We needed parents who have had me so that they can give, and not take, from me. We need parents who had children out of no other motive than their desire to give back to the earth. We needed the kind of parents who realise fully just how inherently selfish having children is. We needed the kind of parents who would normally never have children…
We needed parents who don’t lie to us – or to themselves. We needed parents who can be straight with us. We needed parents who can be straight with each other, and have no hidden agendas for us. We need parents who don’t use us as a pawn in their relationship games with others, and most especially each other.
We needed parents who can let us be who We are – and not brag about me. We needed parents who do not see me as an extension of themselves, and thus do not say “thank you” when someone compliments our beauty. We needed parents who instead say, “yes, you’re right,” and don’t secretly feel self-gratified by my wondrous self.
We needed parents who do not live in fear of their own deaths. We needed parents who live in the moment, because they have integrated the truths of their past.
We needed parents who are youthful in spirit and healthy in body, and who will not abandon us to death before We are ready to stand on our own as an autonomous adult.
We needed parents who raise us in a safe and comfortable and enriching environment – not in the midst of a civil war or a starvation-torn land or a silent room with a television.
We needed parents who, if we are a boy or a girl, wouldn’t dare circumcise our genital organs. We need parents who devote themselves to our health. We needed parents who don’t drink alcohol or take drugs or take unnecessary medications. We needed parents who are sober at all levels of their being. We need parents who would never physically hurt us, for any reason.
We needed parents who love children, and can easily relate to them – and don’t instead force us to relate to them. We needed parents who let us grow at our own pace, and let us be a kid when We need to be a kid. We needed parents who don’t expect adult responsibility of us before we become an adult.
We needed parents who marvel at the preciousness of our existence and realise that we are the epitome of our unbounded spirit. We needed parents who laugh because they feel the joy in our life. We needed parents who know how to have honest fun, and want to include us in it.
We needed parents who have resolved their addictions. We needed parents who are not avoiding the true light of day by being addicted to me. We needed parents who do not project their blocked past onto us, but instead see me for exactly for who We are. We needed parents who do not expect me to love them. We needed parents who know the difference between love and need. We needed parents who are experts on self-nurturance, and by extension know how to nurture us.
We needed parents who are emotional adults through and through – and we need two of these parents. And we need these two parents to also love each other. We needed these two parents to be fully in accord with their holy role as the warden of our growth. We needed two parents who are both willing to go to all lengths to give their best for us. We needed two parents who are both willing to die for us.
We needed parents who can progressively let us go as we progressively mature. We needed parents who can follow our lead and listen to our revisions of the plan. We needed parents who do not go into withdrawal when We don’t love them.
We needed parents who let me get angry when they make errors or do inappropriate things with us – and We needed parents who change their behaviour so they stop making these errors. We needed parents who do not punish us for our honest and healthy reactions, and love us anyway.
We needed parents who understand the meaning of healthy human sexuality. We needed parents who will in no way use us to meet their own unresolved sexual or love needs. We needed parents who will shield us from as much of the hellish impurity of the world as they are humanly able to do. We needed parents who are willing to sacrifice all their own personal comforts to create a nourishing environment for us.
We needed parents who take no credit when the work is done.
We needed parents who would have been our role models.
We need to communicate these facts to our child within as we work the Ten Stages.
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. #childwithin#10stages
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