www.thetenstages.com

www.thetenstages.com
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Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: When we make our first tentative attempts at contact with our child within we need to re-visit an old method of communication Intulexia
Author: Fraser Trevor
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When we make our first tentative attempts at contact with our child within we need to re-visit an old method of communication Intulexia it...
When we make our first tentative attempts at contact with our child within we need to re-visit an old method of communication Intulexia it is our birthright and our natural form of truthful communication. As children we freely connect to our intulexic intuition so naturally that you don’t even know it is Intulexia. It is an everyday awareness permeating our existence that we are intimately connected with and a part of. Life feels magical and our environment is filled with endless possibilities.

It doesn’t take long before you lose this sense of presence and wonder. Soon you are more engaged in limited thinking and the responsibilities of life than your joyful, endless playground of Intulexia.

We can support our child within to stay connected to our intulexia and all its possibilities by practicing stages below. In the process, we will return to that place ourselves where intulexic awareness is at the forefront of our reality.


1. Living Intulexic
“We are great imitators. So give us something great to imitate.”1

The best way to invite our child within into its intulexia is by modelling intulexia living ourselves. It is important to be aware of how much room we create for our own insight and how freely we act on it in our day to day life. When we don’t listen to our intuitive intulexia it impacts our well-being which then impacts our child withins communications. By modelling intulexia, we automatically invite our child within to do the same.We demonstrate empathy and compassion for ourselves.


2. Permission and Safety

Creating safety and security for our child within to explore and express its own intulexia thoughts and views. Our Child Within sublimates its intulexia because it is feels its not safe to trust it anymore. Between being continuously told what to think and do, and the need to be responsible and “realistic”, it is no wonder intulexic thought has little room to breathe. We automatically create permission and safety by living with the language of the child within, listening and acting from our heart, and by inviting and honouring the expression of our child hidden within to share with us the healthy respect it craves.


3. Naturally Creative, Resourceful and Whole


“Love is seeing our child within as we really are, and being with them in that place without judgment sometimes in the basement of our life.”

How we relate to child within begins with how we see them. If we see our child within as being an empty vessel that we must fill, then there is little room for their intulexic voice. However, if we see our child within as naturally, creative, resourceful and whole, then a world of possibilities opens up for our child. We acknowledge we have a voice, wisdom and gifts to share, and a purpose for being here. By seeing us as who we really are, we hold our child within with much higher esteem which supports us to grow up with clarity and confidence.


4. Presence


“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our child within expands.” ~

How much of our Self are we bringing to our child within? The more present we are within our child, the more present we will be with others. Taking a deep breath, slowing down, and noticing if the mind is wandering away while child within is allowed to speak are all helpful when engaging our child within. It’s important to pay attention to our attention, and where it lies in any given moment. Our Child Within can feel when we are not present , so our capacity to listen and be in its world without the need to impose an agenda serves trust in our adult self and our intulexic voice.


5. Educate and Affirm

The Child Within who engage with our intulexic voice and make self-affirming choices do not need us to teach them anything. They are already doing it. However, we who demonstrate a lack of self-worth or trust in ourselves may benefit from us affirming our child withins inner wisdom. We can gently remind ourselves that we are wise children within with our own deep seated inner guidance system. We can point to look within for our inner guidance instead of giving our power to others. And we can teach ourselves that intulexia is a new resource that supports the love and care of child within, and that when choices are made from intulexia it serves the greater whole of ourselves. Remind ourselves, when necessary, that intulexia is there for us always, in all ways! Trusting our intulexic voice to know when to do so.


6. Curiosity


“Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions.”


When we get curious with our child within we re-open a door into our heart. We look within and connect to our feelings and knowing. We uncover values, desires, gifts and dreams, and insight into our life path. We vocalise fears or blocks that may be impeding progress in a certain directions. And we learn to trust our own resourcefulness and capacity to make decisions for ourselves, instead of relying on others. In order to be curious we must suspend our expertise. We must self-manage our need to fix, rescue or advise, and instead see our child within as capable of knowing what is best. Open ended questions starting with What, more than How, engage intulexia the most. Examples include, What does our heart want? If we could wave a magic wand, what would we create today? What’s our favourite thing about that? What would that be like?


7. Values and Desires

Our unique values and desires are inextricably linked to our intulexia. They point to our passions, life balance and towards a purposeful life. By noticing when our child within are most engaged and enthusiastic, and being curious about what they enjoy most, we can deduce what their values and desires were. We can then create learning agendas and frameworks that fit our unique child withins personality, and help ourselves make choices that are aligned with our newly found authentic Self.


8. Co-Create


“Ourselves and our child within should not stand on opposite banks and just watch the river flow by; instead, we should embark together on a journey down the river of life. Through an active, reciprocal exchange, of thoughts ,ideas and dreams.
We have a mutual agenda and so does the child within. We arrive on this earth with a child within pure agenda, and with the tools necessary to participate in our own unique way. It is therefore vital that we are given every chance to express our needs and desires such that they begin to formulate and express our child withins inner purpose. Whether it is a learning or play agenda, allowing our child within to be an active participant in the decision making process validates their intulexic voice and sense of reemerging Self, which helps them pave a road to authentic and fulfilled adult living. Co-creating requires a dose of humility because some level of control needs to be released on our part, as well as recognising that you may not have any answers.


9. Creativity


“The wider the range of possibilities we offer our child within, the more intense will be our motivations and the richer our experiences. We must widen the range of topics and goals, the types of healthy situations we offer and our degree of re-structure, the kinds and combinations of resources and materials, and the possible interactions with things, peers, and adults.”

Intulexia is the creative language department of our mind. It is where we imagine, dream outside the box, consider new possibilities, and feel inspired. When children within are bound by too much structure and weighed down by expectations of what to think and do, our capacity to exercise our creative mind is limited. However, when children within explore and get messy, and reflect on what we have learned and what is true for us, we amazingly strengthen our critical thinking  and our capacity to be innovative and imaginative.


10. Self-Expression


 Our child within has Intulexia and we cannot be limited simply to reading, writing and arithmetic to express him or herself. Helping our child within find a form of expression that feels safe and natural to them, such as art, storytelling, music, drama or movement. Ask them questions about what they shared, what it means to them, what’s important to them about what they’ve discovered, to help them express more and deepen their connection with their learning and their Self expression.


11. Intulexic Language

Certain language supports accessing and expressing intulexia more fully. I feel…, My heart/intuition/gut is telling me…, My sense is…, It feels right to… are all language of the child within. Also using the word Play instead of Work helps to keep things light and inspired – Play with this instead of Work on this; Homeplay instead of Homework; Playsheets instead of Worksheets. We can guide child within to live intuitively by modeling this language ourself, asking questions using this language (What does your heart tell us? What do we feel?), and encouraging them to use the language of intulexia themselves.


12. Celebrate


“Children within first realise they can make a difference when we listen, then respond with sensitivity to them.”

Take time to welcome all creative contributions, all expressions of the child within. Celebrate them as statements of personal truth, learning and growth. Being sensitive to appreciate and include, without shutting children withins ideas down or making them wrong, keeps creative energy flowing and their feeling of renewed self-worth alive. They are more likely to continue valuing and sharing their opinions in the future. Celebrating is one of best ways to live in the Spirit of the child within!


13. Take Time Slow Down and Breathe


“Pausing to listen to an airplane in the sky, stooping to watch a ladybug on a plant, sitting on a rock to watch the waves crash over the quayside – child Within has its own agendas and timescales. As they find out more about their world and their place in it, they work hard not to let adults hurry them. You need to hear their voices.”

The typical lifestyles are amassed with frenetic energy. Busy lives, busy schedules, getting to that next task, and hopefully finding some time to rest and re-gather amongst it all. In the space between our busi-ness lies our intulexia. It speaks quietly from the background and requires us to create room for it so it can be heard. Slowing down and taking deep breaths are simple steps we can take to create inner and outer space for our intulexia. we can support our child within to do the same by modeling this, and gently encouraging them to slow down and take a deep breath as well.


14. Free Unstructured Intulexia Time

Our child within do not experience enough free, unstructured time to play anymore. Computers, video games, television and organised sports limit, if not stifle, the capacity for child within to be creative, spontaneous and adventurous. We needs  greater importance placed on unstructured time where our child within can explore the simple things in life like the great outdoors, or our imagination, without being whisked away to the next organised activity or agenda. We will mature with less frenetic energy and with a greater appreciation for life’s little things. And it will be easier for us to stay connected to the spaciousness of our hearts, where the voice of intulexia is heard.


15. Play


“Our Child Within will not remember us for the material things we provided but for the feeling
that we cherished them.”

Child Within is meant to play, and to learn and grow through play. When you take this away from us, when you impose too much  responsibility on them, they become stunted. Encourage us to unplug from technology and play outside. Take our child within out into nature where the stillness invites presence and the vastness invites adventure. And play with them. Take time every day to play with them, even if it’s only for five minutes.  When we remember to play, we remember our child within and the intulexic voice that lies within.

“While we try to teach our child within all about life, our child within teachs us what life is all about.”

When we see our child within as vast, unlimited beings of creativity and insight that has come here with innate gifts and an inner guidance system we realise that as adults our responsibility is to support our child within to actualise all that is true for them. We must create room for our heart’s intelligence to educate us and our world. And we must make inner reflection and self-care a priority so that we live from our heart and inspire ourselves to do the same.




The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

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