Some realisations can be amazingly healing and insightful, while others often remain buried and out of touch. Our different realisations traverse the various stages at their own speeds and depth, seemingly independently – but ultimately connected to our core of perfection the child within by our universal thread of truth.
We have become awakened to our most primitive stage on life’s healing journey is our contest with ourselves. At this is the prime stage of grandiosity, acceptance by everyone in our social circle or re-acceptance, some if not all of us have a very dubious past and consequential dissociated happiness, and approval by our parents and ancestors. These parts of us that are winning the contest stop our journey before it has even begun. Here we deny our deepest traumas so intensely that we fool even ourselves into believing they never happened and that we are already healed. It is for this reason that our dissociation mimics our enlightenment. Here we idealise the parents, which allows us full unconscious liberty to replicate the worst of our past in our present. Here we do not look beneath our surface, and if fate goes our way, we will never have to. We remain happily distant from the misery lurking in our guts.
Yet where parts of us lose the contest we evolve into the secondary stage: pain, grief suffering. Within this is the stage of depression, failure, misery, and inertia. Here we wallow in seemingly purposeless pain. The silver lining around our cloud of potential recovery has been stripped away, but the old thought clouds remains intact. We still have a motivation a wish to be rescued by our parents and their replicated stand-ins, friends, lovers but we lack the requisite pain tolerance to be able to acknowledge the impossibility of this. Here we live in tortured ambivalence, and we spend out hours and days trying to get others to love us in the way our parents never could. Part of us wishes to devolve back into the seeming pleasure of grandiosity, but the healthier part recalls how cruelly that route already failed us.
These parts of us with the capacity to face our past fear-filled history enter a third stage: grieving. This is the ten stage path of purposeful struggling. Here we unearth the truth of our past, which allows the eruption of the stinking cesspool of our buried traumas. Here we witness the horror lurking behind idealisation of the parents, teachers, priests here we attempt to work in disassembling society and their lies. Our honest confidence leads us into the face of the hurricane, because our child within and its allies tell us that blue skies lie on the other side. Here we are humble, here we confront the truth of the worst of our memories, either in interaction with them or through whatever means will best help us integrate the truth, and through this our journey gently moves sometimes forward and sometimes a little backward.
With each unconscious demon we conquer by our understanding we take a further step into a clearly define fourth stage: enlightenment. This is a stage of full emotional integration, psychic balance, and inner peace. Here lie the deepest goals of our child within. All of us would like to know our own personal truth, and as we become enlightened little by little with the use of truth we achieve it in all parts of ourselves as we arrive in the final stages of our recovery. Here for the first time we grow becoming at last to be able to distinguish light from shadow and water from mirage. Here we nurture the evolution of our primitive sides instead of expressing them destructively. Here we devote the best of ourselves to healing. Here we no longer traumatise others in the very patterns in which we were first traumatised, but instead replicate the best of ourselves generating beauty, peace and loving-kindfulness in the world close to ourselves. Here, having had a restoration into our child within, we share freely of our newly found gifts, because now our gifts are accessible to us and all others.
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com
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