Archive for October 2017

Ten Stages Thought

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Ten Stages Thought
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Ten Stages Thought The significant problems we face can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. The ...

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Ten Stages Thought The significant problems we face can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Ten Stages Thought

Ten Stages Thought The significant problems we face can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. The ...

The Ten Stages is based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s journey.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: The Ten Stages is based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s journey.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

The Ten Stages is based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s journey. Experience has taught us t...

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The Ten Stages is based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s journey. Experience has taught us that all the answers to life are within and that the best therapist, the best book can only point us in this direction. Ultimately it is up to us to heal ourselves. The struggle and the responsibility are ours, and ours alone. Our course, is a program of self-healing, rests on our experience that unresolved traumas from childhood block our connection with our true self the child hidden within. Where we remain disrespected we act out unconsciously and destructively in any number of ways according to the templates of our historic past. We heal by resolving our abuse. This healing connects us to the river of truth that runs through all things, frees our deeper gifts, opening us up to our life’s purpose.<div>
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 These ten simple stages are a proven universal pathway to healing our ancient emotional history. They lead us out of the darkness of our unconscious lives and into the enlightenment of our full conscious connection with our truth. They are the backbone of our healing process, but like a backbone they are flexible. They are suggestions, they strive only to guide us to our journey within. Ultimately we need not trust anyone else’s words, platform, or methods; our own child within provides the best map of all. Healing is complex. Our traumas tangled us up, and at times our growth process re acts these tangles. Some facets of us can be enlightened while other parts remain buried in our abuse history. Grieving, a process necessary for restoring the child within, often has a life of its own. For these reasons, we can work one stage at a time. We can repeat several early stages before moving on to another one, or we can repeat several  stages before returning to an earlier one. If healing were simple and linear everyone would be long since healed. Our short course is intended to help us make sense of our own healing process, to understand its dynamics, and to apply this to our lives. Our goal is enlightenment, and we hope this course, with the wisdom it contains, helps you gain a deep understanding of you and your relationship to your child hidden within. 
 
 
 
 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com</div>
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The Ten Stages is based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s journey.

The Ten Stages is based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s journey. Experience has taught us t...

Dissociation Hoovers & Hoovering

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Dissociation Hoovers & Hoovering
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Dissociation Hoovers & Hoovering, A Hoover is a metaphor taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an when...

Dissociation Hoovers & Hoovering,  
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A Hoover is a metaphor taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an when we are trying to assert our own rights by leaving or limiting contact in a dissociation relationship, we get “sucked back in” when the shadow selves temporarily exhibits improved or desirable behaviour. Here We Go Again. Many of us have experienced the phenomenon we call Hoovering, which is a metaphor derived from the popular (and effective) brand of vacuum cleaners. And just as dust gets caught up in the vacuum cleaner, many of us get sucked back in to the status quo when they attempt to escape a dissociated situation. This is likely to happen when: There has just been an emotional outburst, episode of violence or other extreme period of abuse; at the point where the dissociated realises we are likely to leave, retaliate or seek help from others. We have starts to pull away from the relationship, leave the relationship or establish firmer boundaries within the relationship. The dissociated internally feels unworthy and fears the loss of the relationship. Dissociates liberally may shower their victim with gifts, compliments, promises, demonstrations of love and acts of affection in order to win back our faith, and therefore maintain the status quo. Hoovering is one of the key components of an dissociation Cycle. It is the tactic which ensures many of the dissociated do not have to live alone. It can also act as the ‘plus’ side when we calculates our emotional balance sheet, manipulating them into sustaining the  relationship. Like a tango, it takes two: the person doing the hoovering and the person being sucked in. How it Feels,Hoovering feels good -and that’s the point! When we are being hoovered, our warm-and-fuzzy buttons are all getting pushed, our feelings are getting validated, our needs are being met, our wildest dreams are coming true, our opinions matter, we are the most important person in the world to that certain person. It often feels like vindication. We might find ourself thinking “Finally! The message is getting through! I’m not crazy after all! Now THAT is what I’m talking about! They really DO love me!” But watch out... When you are starving for any emotional food, just about any kind of personal validation tastes wonderful. However, just because it tastes good, doesn’t mean it’s actually healthy or nourishing. Manipulators are often adept at giving us enough of what they want to keep them where they want them. Even slave owners know that they have to feed them enough to keep them healthy and productive. How do we know if a hoover is “real”? It can be a struggle to work out whether a hoover really is a hoover, because it initially looks like it could be a sincere attempt at change by the dissociate whom we care about. And as shadow selves, that’s what we want! The mistake in that logic is that it assumes that it can’t be both. Many really are sincere and really are trying when they also are hoovering. Dissociates who are hoovering you may not be consciously trying to manipulate you or deceive you. They may sincerely be trying, even hoping, to make it “better this time”. They may not be consciously lying when they make promises of change and put them into practice. They may be so convincing because they are so convinced, at least right now. You are going to have to be like the adult in a parent-child relationship, who listens to their child’s black-and-white promises and says “Hmm, we’ll wait and see”. If you’re not sure if you’re being hoovered you should wait and see. Take the long-term view. A person’s character is like an average of their behaviors over their lifetime. People can and do make positive changes in their lives sometimes, deciding to change their behavior for the better. Wait a year and see. If you feel you can’t wait a year, it could be your relationship balance sheet is deeply in the red, which is an alarm bell worth listening to. The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Dissociation Hoovers & Hoovering

Dissociation Hoovers & Hoovering, A Hoover is a metaphor taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an when...

At The Ten Stages we recognise normalising as a dissociative tactic used to desensitise us into abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviours.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: At The Ten Stages we recognise normalising as a dissociative tactic used to desensitise us into abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviours.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

At The Ten Stages we recognise normalising as a dissociative tactic used to desensitise us into abusive, coercive or inappropriate behavio...

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At The Ten Stages we recognise normalising as a dissociative tactic used to desensitise us into abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviours. In essence, normalising is the manipulation of us to get us to agree to, or accept something that is in conflict with the law, social norms or our own basic code of behaviour. Dissociates often work to make us feel less sensitive to, or more accepting of. offensive behaviour by minimising, down playing or mocking any negative reaction to inappropriate acts. In turn, we often normalise dissociative behaviour (the other person's and our own) by buying into the dissociates's logic and lowering our own standards. We learn to accept as normal what we once believed to be unacceptable, wrong, or dangerous. Dissociated Normalising is achieved when we no longer questions a behaviour as inappropriate and starts to accept the dissociate’s assertions that a questionable behaviour is, in fact, normal and “healthy.” What Dissociated Manipulation Sounds Like: “Stop being so judgmental.” "Your friends never had any problems with it." "What a stick in the mud. You need to lighten up!” "Why can't you just let it go?" "Just relax... if you don't like it, you don't ever have to do it again." "Don't you trust me?" "This is God's plan for you ..." What it feels like: The process of manipulation (usually a sustained effort over time) may touch off deep inner conflict in us who are the target of manipulation efforts. The reason for this ambivalence is that dissociation manipulations requires us to adjust our personal standards, and accept, participate, or collaborate in bad behaviour in order to receive a payoff or reward. In other words: We know the behaviour is inappropriate or wrong, but is motivated to indulge it, because doing so generates the promise of some desired object or situation that the target yearns for (or already has), and does not want to lose. The motivation could be anything: money, sex, grades, acceptance, favour, or the promise of love. Normalising is in many ways a type of mutual extortion, and can not work if there is nothing of value at stake. Being in a relationship with  the dissociated disordered has sometimes been compared to an addiction. One of the side effects of being addicted to another person is the lengths some of us might go to in order to preserve their connection to the very person who is doing them harm. Denial about the extent of the abuse often becomes core to our own self image. He or she may begin to normalise, or justify abnormal behaviours in the other person in order to make those behaviours seem less disturbing, We thus adopts codependent and enabling behaviours, and may even begin mirroring some of the bad actions we once objected to. In this way, the dissociated are able to increase their own tolerance and negative coping skills, and stay connected to us. Losing perspective on what is acceptable behaviour weakens our own self-esteem and judgment. Once bad behaviours are normalised and accepted in our own mind, we will be vulnerable to further abuse and at risk for engaging in activities that are unhealthy, harmful or illegal to ourself. What NOT To Do: Don't fall for false flattery, or verbal seduction. Don't let someone else convince you to engage in any activity you know to be dangerous or wrong. Don’t compromise your boundaries. Don't become blind to the negative consequences of bad behaviour. If someone is trying to coerce us in to doing something we are uncomfortable with, do not try to argue with them - get up and leave. We Don't blame ourself for how the other person is behaving Don't stay in the room if the situation becomes physically, verbally or emotionally unhealthy. Don't go it alone or keep what you are experiencing a secret. What TO Do: Do recognise that normalising for what it is: Manipulation. Do listen to your inner voice the child within. Learn to distinguish between what you know is right and what someone else asks you to accept. Do work on boundaries. If someone is pressuring you to accept something you are uncomfortable with, walk away. If it's illegal, dangerous, or has the potential to harm yourself or others, report it to the proper authorities. Do discuss what you are going through with supportive, Ten Stagers. 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

At The Ten Stages we recognise normalising as a dissociative tactic used to desensitise us into abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviours.

At The Ten Stages we recognise normalising as a dissociative tactic used to desensitise us into abusive, coercive or inappropriate behavio...

A Ten Stages Time-Out

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: A Ten Stages Time-Out
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

A Ten Stages Time-Out is a decision to temporarily disengage from an argument, conversation, interpersonal situation or conflict. Working...

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A Ten Stages Time-Out is a decision to temporarily disengage from an argument, conversation, interpersonal situation or conflict. <div>
Working on ourself means taking our energy, time and focus off of the dissociated-disordered in our life and restoring a healthy balance where we spend an appropriate amount of time on improving our own situation, regardless of what the person who suffers from the dissociated disorder does. 
 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com</div>

A Ten Stages Time-Out

A Ten Stages Time-Out is a decision to temporarily disengage from an argument, conversation, interpersonal situation or conflict. Working...

Going "No Dissociated Contact" means cutting off all forms of correspondence, communication and personal contact with a person who suffers from a dissociation disorder in order to protect ourselves from recurring abuse and de-meaning behaviour.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Going "No Dissociated Contact" means cutting off all forms of correspondence, communication and personal contact with a person who suffers from a dissociation disorder in order to protect ourselves from recurring abuse and de-meaning behaviour.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Putting our Child Within First means making decisions based on "what is in the best interests of the child within", regardless o...

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Putting our Child Within First means making decisions based on "what is in the best interests of the child within", regardless of the consequences for any other parties involved. 
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Going "No Contact" means cutting off all forms of correspondence, communication and personal contact with a person who suffers from a dissociation disorder in order to protect ourselves from recurring abuse and de-meaning behaviour.  Personal Safety is a list of actions that are designed to keep situations from escalating and to make sure that Physical, Emotional and Verbal abuse is avoided or stopped at the first moment it begins to happen. It contains action stages on when to stop an abusive or comparative conversation, when to leave the room . 
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The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Going "No Dissociated Contact" means cutting off all forms of correspondence, communication and personal contact with a person who suffers from a dissociation disorder in order to protect ourselves from recurring abuse and de-meaning behaviour.

Putting our Child Within First means making decisions based on "what is in the best interests of the child within", regardless o...

Welcome to all our members who flew in last night to Leeds-Bradford Airport. I finally recognise my child within crying out for self-actualisation, I am powerless to stop myself recovering.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Welcome to all our members who flew in last night to Leeds-Bradford Airport. I finally recognise my child within crying out for self-actualisation, I am powerless to stop myself recovering.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Welcome to all our members who flew in last night to Leeds-Bradford Airport. when I finally recognise my child within crying out for se...

Welcome to all our members who flew in last night to Leeds-Bradford Airport. I finally recognise my child within crying out for self-actualisation, I am powerless to stop myself recovering.

Welcome to all our members who flew in last night to Leeds-Bradford Airport. when I finally recognise my child within crying out for se...

Traumas and continued disrespect, be they from childhood or later in life, fester in our unconscious

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Traumas and continued disrespect, be they from childhood or later in life, fester in our unconscious
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Traumas and continued disrespect, be they from childhood or later in life, fester in our unconscious and surface destructivel...

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Traumas and continued disrespect, be they from childhood or later in life, fester in our unconscious and surface destructively into our adulthood. Until we heal our injuries an angry and hurt child within rules our life through an adult pose. This is our shadow self, and with it in charge we are cut off from our child held within and powerless to embody truth and honesty in our life. Our unresolved traumas damage our relationships and drive us into addiction, depression, dissociation, and other forms of mental and physical illness. Our misplaced attempts to recover and to numb and avoid our traumas. only add to our misery and reinforce our dissociations. Our lives suffer the escapism of our unconscious living, and our fellows and lifestyle also pay a heavy price. When we look within at our child and admit that this is what our life has come to, our recovery process takes its first tenative step forward. 
 
 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Traumas and continued disrespect, be they from childhood or later in life, fester in our unconscious

Traumas and continued disrespect, be they from childhood or later in life, fester in our unconscious and surface destructivel...

We start our journey as a Recovery Wild Child we are visionaries who journey into the wilderness of our own recovery

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: We start our journey as a Recovery Wild Child we are visionaries who journey into the wilderness of our own recovery
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

We start our journey as a Recovery Wild Child we are the visionaries who journey into the wilderness of our own recovery, away from the co...

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We start our journey as a Recovery Wild Child we are the visionaries who journey into the wilderness of our own recovery, away from the comforts and compromises of the recovery norm, to tangle with raw hidden child within.We create an action based on raw honesty and truth anchoring the newly recovered into place, after starting a Ten Stages Study Course.Which often feels like jumping off a cliff into the abyss of childhood recollections  <strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #373737; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

We start our journey as a Recovery Wild Child we are visionaries who journey into the wilderness of our own recovery

We start our journey as a Recovery Wild Child we are the visionaries who journey into the wilderness of our own recovery, away from the co...

We have often compensated for our lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: We have often compensated for our lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

We have often compensated for our lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the ...

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We have often compensated for our lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer abound. Knights, dragons, romance novels- getting high from fantasy becomes habit. When we play with fantasy, we can get high in about 10 minutes, and stay there for 2-3 hours. Endorphins are released into their system, relieving emotional pain and alienating our child within further. We begin relationships by trying too hard to please and connect. We are driven to find someone to tell us that we are loveable and loved; to find someone who will rescue us from our inability to care for ourselves; rescue us from their loneliness, emptiness of our childhood, lack of self-love, inability to feel safe in the world without someone to protect us. We look for a relationship to make us feel whole and abandon our child within once more. 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

We have often compensated for our lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy.

We have often compensated for our lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the ...

The Ten Stages experience, is that we who are blinded to our own traumatic history have a difficult time admitting to ourselves who we really are

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: The Ten Stages experience, is that we who are blinded to our own traumatic history have a difficult time admitting to ourselves who we really are
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

The Ten Stages experience, is that we who are blinded to our own traumatic history have a difficult time admitting to ourselves who we re...

The Ten Stages experience, is that we who are blinded to our own traumatic history have a difficult time admitting to ourselves who we really are

The Ten Stages experience, is that we who are blinded to our own traumatic history have a difficult time admitting to ourselves who we re...

Most of us are unaware of the childhood traumas of our ancestors.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Most of us are unaware of the childhood traumas of our ancestors.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Most of us are unaware of the childhood traumas of our ancestors. These betrayals remain unknown, as they are passed unconsciously throug...

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Most of us are unaware of the childhood traumas of our ancestors. These betrayals remain unknown, as they are passed unconsciously through the generations. But some are more sensitive by nature, and feel these wrongs as violations. They question the source of this poison infecting them, since its source feels external to them. As unnamed traumas begin to contaminate us, we perceive a grave error, dissonant from our child within. This discernment can begin in early childhood. If we are not crushed by the emotional limits of our parents, we distance ourselves from the traumas leaking through mother and father and begin a survival strategy based on dissociation. We steps aside from the emotional constriction of our caretakers and creates a secret world. In this private world, we preserves what is best in us. From this protected place, we observes those in our family and world who would destroy our original impulses and authenticity holding on to our treasures of honesty at all costs. Our devotion is not to mother and father or social propriety, but to these rare gifts at our core. If we persists in our self-preservation into adulthood, we will succeed in establishing a true identity, separate from the disguised cruelty of normalcy, our shadow self. In so doing, we break the cycle of trans-generational transgression and a new way of being, the child within, consonant with truth and honesty, begins. 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Most of us are unaware of the childhood traumas of our ancestors.

Most of us are unaware of the childhood traumas of our ancestors. These betrayals remain unknown, as they are passed unconsciously throug...

The Ten Stages are intended to help us make sense of our recovery process, to understand the dynamics of communicating with the child hidden within, and to absorb this into our present reality.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: The Ten Stages are intended to help us make sense of our recovery process, to understand the dynamics of communicating with the child hidden within, and to absorb this into our present reality.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

The Ten Stages are based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s path. Experience has taught us tha...

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The Ten Stages are based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s path. Experience has taught us that all the answers to life are within and that the best access is our past sometimes traumatic history and this contact alone can point us in the direction of personal recovery. Ultimately it is up to us to communicate with ourselves. 
 
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You take away my pain</blockquote>
 
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You make me feel whole again</blockquote>
 
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When I don't know where to turn</blockquote>
 
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I turn around and there you are</blockquote>
 
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You are the moon up in my sky</blockquote>
 
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You are my shining star</blockquote>
 
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You are everything to me</blockquote>
 
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And I believe........ The struggle and the responsibility are ours, and ours alone.This responsibility is constantly evaded by means of dissociation and disordered addictions.</blockquote>
 Our program of recovery, is a program of self-healing, rests on our experience that unresolved traumas from childhood block our connection with our true self. Where we remain traumatised we act out unconsciously and destructively in any number of ways—according to the templates of our traumatic past. We heal by resolving our traumas. This healing connects us to the river of truth that runs through our personal contact with a child hidden within us, which frees our deeper gifts of cognition, and opens us up to our life’s purpose. 
 
 
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Without my beautiful child within here with me</blockquote>
 
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I'd be lost forever more</blockquote>
 
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I'd stay locked behind my heart</blockquote>
 
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And throw away the key to that door</blockquote>
 
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You bring peace back to my nights</blockquote>
 
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Because of you my eyes shine bright And I believe........These ten stages are a universal pathway to healing our ancient emotional wounds. They lead us out of the darkness of our unconscious lives and into the enlightenment of our full conscious connection with truth and personal honesty. They are the backbone of our healing process, but like a backbone they are flexible. They are suggestions, not the law, and they strive only to guide us within to making a personal contact with our intuitive voice. Ultimately we need not trust anyone else’s words, platform, or methods; our own connection to our child within provides the best map of all. </blockquote>
 Communication at depth is complex. Our childhood traumas tangled us up, and at times our growth process reacts to these tangles. Some facets of our personality can be enlightened while other parts remain buried and traumatised. Grieving, a process necessary for restoring the child withins communication, often has a life of its own. For these reasons, we can work one stage at a time. We can repeat several early stages before moving on to an advanced one, or we can repeat several advanced stages before returning to an earlier one. If recovery were simple and linear everyone would be long since healed. The Ten Stages are intended to help us make sense of our recovery process, to understand the dynamics of communicating with the child hidden within, and to absorb this into our present reality. Our goal is gentle understanding, and we hope this program of recovery, and the wisdom it contains, helps you move the stages closer to you. 
 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

The Ten Stages are intended to help us make sense of our recovery process, to understand the dynamics of communicating with the child hidden within, and to absorb this into our present reality.

The Ten Stages are based on the principle that we each have the capacity to be our own guide on life’s path. Experience has taught us tha...

Ten Stages Calm, Tides and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Ten Stages Calm, Tides and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Ten Stages Calm, Tides and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it t...

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Ten Stages Calm, Tides and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it takes much longer, we are “thinking” (rehearsing, calculating) too much. A gentle process for improving self-worth: This program is aimed at raising our self-worth gently and consistently. Just write down the first word that comes into your head Week 1 Self-responsibility to me means… Independence to me means… Thinking for myself means… Trusting my own mind means… Week 2 If I operate five percent more self-responsibly today… If I think for myself today… If I bring five percent more awareness to my deepest needs and wants… If I bring five percent more awareness to what I truly think and feel… I am becoming aware… Week 3 If I am more straightforward about what I think and feel today… If I operate five percent more self-assertively today… If I treat my wants and needs with more respect today… If I express myself calmly and with dignity today… If I want to translate these ideas into action… Week 4 If I pay more attention to my inner signals today… If I am more truthful in my dealings with people today… If I am five percent more self-accepting today… If I am self-accepting even when I make mistakes… If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind… Week 5 If I disown what I am thinking and feeling… If I place other people’s thoughts above my own… When I look at what I do to impress people… If I fake who I am to make myself “likable”… I am beginning to suspect… Week 6 If I am more accepting of my feelings today… If I deny and disown my feelings… If I am more accepting of my thoughts… If I deny and disown my thoughts… I am becoming aware… Week 7 If I am more accepting of my fears… If I deny and disown my fears… If I were more accepting of my pain… If I deny and disown my pain… Right now it seems obvious that… Week 8 If I am more accepting of my desire to be liked… If I deny and disown my desire to be liked… If I learn to manage my desire for approval… If I can acknowledge my desire for approval without being controlled by it… If I want to translate these ideas into action… Week 9 If I am more accepting of my deepest self… If I deny and disown my deepest self… If I am more accepting of my intelligence… If I deny and disown my intelligence… If I allow myself to understand what I am writing… Week 10 Self-responsibility means… If I am more accepting of my thoughts and feelings, whether or not anyone shares them… If I deny and disown thoughts and feelings others do not share… If I betray my thoughts and feelings in action… If I honor my thoughts and feelings in action… I am beginning to suspect… Week 11 If I imagine being more self-responsible… If I imagine being more independent… If I imagine looking at things through my own eyes… If I take five percent more responsibility for the ideas I live by… If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind… Week 12 If I honor my judgment today… Sometimes I keep myself passive when I… Sometimes I make myself helpless when I… If I pretend to be less than I am… If I allow myself to absorb what I am writing… Week 13 If I bring five percent more integrity into my relationships… If I take five percent more responsibility for my choice of companions… If I take five percent more responsibility for my personal happiness… If I take five percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem… I am becoming aware… Week 14 If I lived five percent more authentically today… If I treat my thoughts and feelings with respect today… If I experiment with being more self-assertive today… If I am willing to see what I see and know what I know… If I fully face the meaning of what I am writing… Week 15 If I hold myself accountable for my promises and commitments… If I stop all excuse-making and alibiing… If I refuse to surrender to helplessness… If I were willing to say “yes” when I want to say “yes” and “no” when I want to say “no”… I am beginning to suspect… Week 16 If I were willing to let people see who I am… If I took more responsibility for delivering on my commitments… If I operate five percent more self-responsibly at work… If I operate five percent more self-responsibly in my relationships… If I choose to translate these ideas into action… Week 17 If I stay connected with what I truly think and feel… If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants… If I refuse to blame anyone… If I make my happiness a conscious goal… Right now it seems clear… Week 18 If I look people in the eyes and tell the truth today… If I refuse to be ruled by fear of disapproval… If I refuse to hide who I am… If I am simple, honest, and straightforward today… If I allow what I am writing to fully penetrate… Week 19 If I bring five percent more integrity to my relationships… If I remain loyal to the values I believe are right… If I refuse to live by values I do not respect… If I treat my self-respect as a high priority… I am becoming aware… Week 20 If I accept responsibility for my life and well-being… If I accept responsibility for my choices and decisions… If I accept responsibility for my actions… If I accept responsibility for how I deal with people… If I choose to translate these ideas into action… Week 21 If I want to grow in independence, I will need to… If I want to grow in self-esteem, I will need to… If I want to be more authentic, I will need to… If I want to outgrow dependency, I will need to… If I am willing to experiment with these ideas in action… Week 22 If I look at things through my own eyes today… If I am willing to see what I see and know what I know… If I am truthful today, even if it’s difficult… I grow in self-respect when I… I am becoming aware… Week 23 If I operate five percent more self-responsibly today… If I operate five percent more self-assertively today… If I operate five percent more authentically today… If I operate five percent more honestly today… Right now it seems clear that… Week 24 As I grow in self-responsibility… As I grow in independence… As I learn to say what I truly think and feel… As I learn to look at things through my own eyes… If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind… Week 25 Sometimes when I am afraid of self-responsibility I… Sometimes when I am afraid of independence I… If I want to outgrow any fear I have of self-responsibility… If I want to outgrow any fear I have of independence… I am beginning to suspect… Week 26 One of the things I’ve been learning through this program is… As I notice when I am being self-responsible and when I am not fully… As I notice when I am being authentic and when I am not fully… As I notice how I feel when I am honest… I am becoming aware… Week 27 I feel most proud of myself when I… I feel least proud of myself when I… If I give myself credit for my willingness to struggle… If I give myself credit for my dedication to personal growth… If I allow myself to understand what I am writing… Week 28 As I learn to translate what I am learning into action… As I continue the struggle, even when it’s difficult… If I choose to persevere, no matter how long it takes… One of the ways I am changing is… I am beginning to suspect… Week 29 As my understanding of self-responsibility deepens… As my understanding of independence deepens… As I learn to be more authentic when dealing with people… As everything I am learning takes root in my subconscious mind… I am becoming aware… Week 30 As I learn to operate at a higher level of self-responsibility… As I learn to operate at a higher level of independence… As I learn to pay more attention to what I truly think and feel… As I learn to treat myself with more respect… As I go on translating these learnings into action… 
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The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Ten Stages Calm, Tides and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection

Ten Stages Calm, Tides and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it t...

In my heart you are always there You lead me thru the darkness Of painful memories

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: In my heart you are always there You lead me thru the darkness Of painful memories
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

In my heart you are always there You lead me thru the darkness Of painful memories And walk me out into the light again Where I can see you...

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In my heart you are always there You lead me thru the darkness Of painful memories And walk me out into the light again Where I can see you smiling at me All it takes is just a word A gentle touch from your perfect child within And I believe........ You take away my pain You make me feel whole again When I don't know where to turn I turn around and there you are You are the moon up in my sky You are my shining star You are everything to me And I believe........ You're love will get me thru And lead me back home to you Where all the world just slips away And my fears you hold at bay You turn my darkness into light And keep me strong thru out the night And I believe........ Without my beautiful child within here with me I'd be lost forever more I'd stay locked behind my heart And throw away the key to that door You bring peace back to my nights Because of you my eyes shine bright And I believe........ Because of you and your love The way you've helped me to be strong Helped me to sort out right from wrong I can take back the night Make my world turn out right So my path will lead me back Straight into your arms at last To go forward in my life And let go of my past Because of you I believe........ from a poem by Kristi Day 
 
Today we used this wonderful poem in our Tuesday Meeting at the Ten Stages and a feeling of deep peace has been with me ever since, the contact and communication that I acknowledged with others that has taken me by the hand and been with me during numerous heart attacks, other complications of medical emergencies I have had to experience with my only companion the child within has lead us to a point of total belief and deep meaningful peace. 
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Labels: <a href="http://intuitivevoices.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/A%20gentle%20touch%20from%20your%20perfect%20child%20within" rel="tag" style="color: #be4400; text-decoration-line: none;">A gentle touch from your perfect child within</a></div>
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The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

In my heart you are always there You lead me thru the darkness Of painful memories

In my heart you are always there You lead me thru the darkness Of painful memories And walk me out into the light again Where I can see you...

Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain yourself.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain yourself.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain yourself. To avoid circular conversations putting you in the victims role, don't Justify, Argue, Defen...

Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain yourself.

Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain yourself. To avoid circular conversations putting you in the victims role, don't Justify, Argue, Defen...

Remember as a child … whatever we would study we would learn about.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Remember as a child … whatever we would study we would learn about.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Remember as a child … whatever we would study we would learn about. Whatever we look at long and hard enough we would get to see in detai...

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Remember as a child … whatever we would study we would learn about. Whatever we look at long and hard enough we would get to see in detail. When we came back and looked again at another time we would see even more. Can we ever see it all … can we ever learn everything there is to learn? We know we can get answers just as certainly as any other who honestly asks the question on their own. Answers are reserved for those who dare to ask the questions and honestly seek for answers. When we can grasp a concept enough to challenge our own understanding and thinking, we can then discover more and explore even more deeply. The more we question the more we can attain, this is the the ten stages path. What’s our answer to these perplexing question? We are willing to share this … to make you full and satisfied? If you were would that be your answer? If you are not yet full and satisfied is that your answer? Are you ready yet for the answer or will it allude you for another day? The answers are always here for those who genuinely seek to find them in ten stages recovery. 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Remember as a child … whatever we would study we would learn about.

Remember as a child … whatever we would study we would learn about. Whatever we look at long and hard enough we would get to see in detai...

During our initial first recovery period we suffer a form of Toxic remembrance

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: During our initial first recovery period we suffer a form of Toxic remembrance
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

During our initial first recovery period we suffer a form of Toxic remembrance: We have due to our constant dissociations anaesthetised ...

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During our initial first recovery period we suffer a form of Toxic remembrance: We have due to our constant dissociations anaesthetised ourselves against overwhelming loss. We have not been able to comprehend, to face the full magnitude of emotional alienation as the hidden child within. We become elated and despondent our belief systems start to crumble and we become thirsty for ten stage recovery. There is only so much physical or psychic pain which can be endured by the child within, and when that limit is reached, our mental/emotional system shuts down. We have been often in a state of repressed denial for a very long time. We have expressed this as “numbness,” or as a sense of unreality, a sense of disassociation.<div>
  Our Emotional child within release: We start to return to a full on realistic emotional world. At this time we begin to quantify the extent of our loss and realise how dreadful that loss has been. We tend to healthily vent releases of pent-up emotions is better than our battle to constantly repress them, but we start to feel and express strong emotions. As the shock wears off, we feel the need to release all the emotions that have been building up. Our release may be verbal or physical, and while this is healthy, care should be taken to ensure our safety, others, or personal property. We have to recognised this stage and need to provided “screaming places” where these powerful emotions can be safely vented. </div>
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DEPRESSION, LONELINESS AND UTTER ISOLATION: Our pent-up feelings break threw the carefully constructed dam of denial.Releasing the feeling of “Their is No help for me.” We descend down in the depths of despair. We identify and realise this is a NORMAL feeling. At this stage we needed to be quietly aided by an EXPRESSED CONCERN in our recovery and its goals. A response to loss is for childhood is to experience vivid dreams, so vivid that we believe we have actually seen or heard our specific abuse or a moment from the past as it expresses itself in our sub-conscious. Another manifestation is that the we will mistake another person for the person from our past, usually on the street or in a store. This will sometimes cause us great embarrassment as we may address the stranger, only to realise our mistake.</div>
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 WE CAN DEVELOP PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS OF DISTRESS: “Ill” with symptoms related to the loss, weight loss, alienation. Our best help is to understand the Stages process and press onwards even though we wish to once more escape. PANIC: We can become convinced “something is wrong with us” as a survivor. we suffer survivor remorse, we can concentrate on little else. We may fear a further loss of our sanity.In effect we are regaining our sanity GUILT FEELINGS: We may recall our own past neglect, mistreatment, or wrong to the abuser. Wrongs may be imaginary or exaggerated. But they may be REAL wrongs with REAL guilt. Sharing and unburdening of real guilt gives best relief. “Forgiveness” of real wrongs, done to us as if they were imaginary, is no adequate solution. HOSTILITY: Feeling better leads us to expressing self more actively. Hostile expressions toward those who “caused” our losses. Such hostility is normal and blameless becoming part of the healing process.</div>
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 WE HAVE AN INABILITY TO RENEW NORMAL ACTIVITIES: We feel we cannot get back to “business as usual.” We must bear loss alone, since others are back to normal activities. We Need encouragement to face new realities, not to be sheltered from them.We start to move away from old friends and associates as we recognise we have little in common with them.We pick up the support from The Stages Guides. </div>
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The HEALING OF OUR MEMORIES: There is a slow realisation that the painful memories are part of the healing process and must be integrated into the life of the recovering. It is a time of reaching out, however tentatively, to embrace fully all that has happened and to accept that life must change if it is to continue. The memories become less frightening, and the sky a bit brighter as the recovering begins to face the world with more and more confidence. </div>
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WE GRADUAL OVERCOME OUR GRIEF FOR OUR CHILDHOOD: Our emotional balance returns little by little, like healing of a physical wound. The Rate and severity can varies with each of us.We start to acknowledge our similarity of hurt and loss.There is a slow realisation that the painful memories are part of the healing process and must be integrated into the life of the recovering. It is a time of reaching out, however tentatively, to embrace fully all that has happened and to accept that life must change if it is to continue. The memories become less frightening, and the sky a bit brighter as we begin to face the world with more and more confidence.Loss brings about changes. We begin to mature it is in the resumption of the adult life and going on through the years without a parent, that we must come to the realisation that a new role is to be accepted and lived, and our period of grief for ourselves is over. The Renewed cycle of our life continues, and our bereaved self can finally shed the cloak of grief and take on the robe of peace and renewal. </div>
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WE HAVE TO MAKE A READJUSTMENT TO THE NEW REALITIES OF OUR RECOVERED LIFE: We are Not our “old self again,” because there is now a new situation a new form of reality. We feel the freedom of our grief process . We feel Stronger, deeper, better for having faced and overcome some of our dysfunctional childhood.We realise that this is a life time changing event and we practice the ten stages studying our past history in the light of our new reality. 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com</div>

During our initial first recovery period we suffer a form of Toxic remembrance

During our initial first recovery period we suffer a form of Toxic remembrance: We have due to our constant dissociations anaesthetised ...

Our child within once freed, is in no way shackled by the linear, disconnected routes most adults have restricted themselves to

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Our child within once freed, is in no way shackled by the linear, disconnected routes most adults have restricted themselves to
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Our child within once freed, is in no way shackled by the linear, disconnected routes most adults have restricted themselves to, we can an...

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Our child within once freed, is in no way shackled by the linear, disconnected routes most adults have restricted themselves to, we can and do comfortably adventure across the conventional chasm separating seeming strangers and into our friend’s hearts and minds. For our liberated child within this is no big deal. There is no such thing as a “stranger” in the mind of the child within, just as there is no such thing as race; such is the openness of our buoyant functioning hearts, such is our wonder at our recovery. There is less, if any, of a wall separating the child within from us, there is less separating the moon from the stars. The Child Within can travel freely from one star to the next, from one dream to another, from our heart to yours, across seas upon seas most dare not travel and most separate themselves from this unbridled sense of adventure. This is the unbridled spirit of adventure children embody so well, sinuously moving where our hearts take us, across seas that have no edges, no limits, into the hearts of others, into the Heart of our recovered Existence. This is the gift of the child within consciousness bringing a new form of recovered living unscheduled, unbounded by time and space, thus available to the timeless, boundless nature of our recovered spirit. And in this, we invite us into wider winding passages where we become more alive and where the distance between you and I and all of life fades. Now this is a recovery we can be proud of, this is recovery plus. This is why we believe hole heartedly in THE CHILD WITHIN. 
 
 
 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Our child within once freed, is in no way shackled by the linear, disconnected routes most adults have restricted themselves to

Our child within once freed, is in no way shackled by the linear, disconnected routes most adults have restricted themselves to, we can an...

Our own integrated Child Within was born bathed in a feeling emotional natural state

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Our own integrated Child Within was born bathed in a feeling emotional natural state
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Our own integrated Child Within was born bathed in a feeling emotional natural state, this is a form deeper intelligence that connects us ...

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Our own integrated Child Within was born bathed in a feeling emotional natural state, this is a form deeper intelligence that connects us to our dreams and creativity, to the subtleties and beauty of our immediate instant life. But we are then eventually by disrespect and trauma separated from it and we are taught to call this education; we call it preparation for the “real” world. Quickly, we are “rea-died” to conform to social norms; we tell are told to “grow up” in many direct and indirect ways. But what we’re really doing is getting us to migrate our consciousness upwards above the neck away from the ancient wisdom stored in our bodies, to rise from a heart to head allegiance.  
 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Our own integrated Child Within was born bathed in a feeling emotional natural state

Our own integrated Child Within was born bathed in a feeling emotional natural state, this is a form deeper intelligence that connects us ...

Why we use our connection to the child within in the ten stages.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Why we use our connection to the child within in the ten stages.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Why we use our connection to the child within in The Ten Stages. Almost anyone can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single hum...

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Why we use our connection to the child within in The Ten Stages. Almost anyone can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel our emotions. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people but the moment you feel your emotions, you’re nobody-but-yourself you are the child within. 
 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

Why we use our connection to the child within in the ten stages.

Why we use our connection to the child within in The Ten Stages. Almost anyone can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single hum...

We the dissociated have used often addiction as a temporary medication for deeply hidden emotional pain.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: We the dissociated have used often addiction as a temporary medication for deeply hidden emotional pain.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

We the dissociated have used often addiction as a temporary medication for deeply hidden emotional pain. We have been groomed to listen to...

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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pzPCaXSVg3A/WctMX2ngRxI/AAAAAAAAdVw/veELeqN3fTgue7I5tRcr5MQpZTiePo_DwCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/ten%2Bstages67.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pzPCaXSVg3A/WctMX2ngRxI/AAAAAAAAdVw/veELeqN3fTgue7I5tRcr5MQpZTiePo_DwCPcBGAYYCw/s320/ten%2Bstages67.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
We the dissociated have used often addiction as a temporary medication for deeply hidden emotional pain. We have been groomed to listen to others but not ourselves, certainly not to our feelings and our trauma. Feelings, we have been taught are to be distrusted. We have become trained to think out and then over-think our actions and fears and discount our truth spontaneously we to inhibit our instinctually acting from our feelings deeply sublimating our child within. The Ten Stages is the only healthy solution to this our dilemma of the insane solution of dissociation and addiction.Which when practised returns us in total recovery to sanity successfully. 
 
The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

We the dissociated have used often addiction as a temporary medication for deeply hidden emotional pain.

We the dissociated have used often addiction as a temporary medication for deeply hidden emotional pain. We have been groomed to listen to...

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